The dream started out on the front porch of an unfamiliar brick house in any random, normal looking neighborhood. I was sitting on the steps of the porch with one of my friends, but through the whole dream I couldn’t tell if the friend was Sandy, my roommate of two years, or Betsy, my best friend of twelve years. Betsy or Sandy and I were having casual conversation, and I couldn’t stop staring at the sky, noticing how beautiful the day was and how very nice the weather was. The sky was blue, with no clouds, and it was just a very pleasant afternoon.
While sitting around doing and saying nothing very important, Betsy or Sandy and I were startled when the nice weather turned bad quite quickly. We felt a sudden chill, and when we looked back into the sky a huge formation of clouds was swirling right above us. I remember that the clouds were moving fast, the way that filmmakers shoot the sky in fast-forward to show a passing of time. Betsy or Sandy and I got up from the porch and stood in the middle of the front yard, faces to the sky, when a huge blast of wind shot down at us, the clouds ripped open, and dozens of enormous figures, at least 3-times life-size, came flying down toward us. The figures were all males, some had gray hair and others had brown hair, most had full beards, and they were wearing “Hebrew robes” and “Jesus sandals,” both terms I made up to myself in the dream. In every one of their right hands they held Holy Bibles, and in their left hands were huge golden crosses. There really was no indication as to who these men were during the dream, but for some reason, I interpreted them to be Saints. And these Saints were very mad at me.
As the Saints came pouring out of the clouds, the temperature grew cooler. They hovered above Betsy or Sandy and me, and for some reason she and I knew they were mad at us and the only way to get them to leave us alone was to convince them that Betsy or Sandy and I were in love. The Saints never said anything intelligible to us, instead they shouted at us in a language I couldn’t understand, but assumed was Hebrew (although consciously I have no idea what the Hebrew language sounds like at all).
Because we were scared and wanted the Saints to leave, Betsy or Sandy and I hugged each other, trying to show the angry, scary figures we were in love. But hugging did not convince them, and the Saints grew angrier, louder, more threatening. They came swirling closer, flying around us faster and faster, cursing at us in Hebrew, spitting while they spoke. So Betsy or Sandy and I began to kiss, with our eyes open, looking directly into one another. We tried to hold each other again, but the Saints grew angrier, so we figured out they were most convinced of our love when we were totally making out, eyes open, palm pressed together, thinking of nothing or nobody but each other. Because the Saints were flying around so fast and recklessly, it was hard for Betsy or Sandy and myself to keep this lovers’ posture at all times, and especially hard to keep our thoughts focused on each other instead of our fear.
Every once in a while we would stop kissing to catch our breath, or our hands would slip apart. When these things happened the Saints would come swooshing in closer, absolutely screaming, disgusted by us, and during one of these times a zooming Saint in an orange Hebrew robe knocked me to the ground. I was unconscious, and at this point in the dream I had an out-of-body view of what was happening. I didn’t see Betsy/Sandy anymore, just my body lying in the grass, Saints hovering a few feet above, spitting at me and scowling and yelling. Finally I saw myself gain consciousness on the lawn, and I was screaming and bawling and completely hysterical. The Saints voices got louder and they began chanting something I couldn’t understand and they formed a circle around me, still hovering above the ground. Suddenly I saw my body start to float up into the air, and as I ascended my ankles were crossed, my arms were out to the sides, and my head flung back. I was in the crucifix position, floating 30 feet in the air. I was still sobbing, and the Saints had all begun to cry as well. The clouds left and the sun was shining big fat rays into the circle the Saints created around my weightless body. After hovering for a few minutes, the Saints vanished and I fell crashing to the ground, where I landed on a white plastic picnic knife.
The fall woke me up and I was terrified to find my body in my bed, face covered in tears, sweaty, ankles crossed, arms out, head tilted backwards. This is the scariest dream I’ve had in my life.
This entire dream had no plot, no sequence, no beginning, middle, or end. It was very simple. I was at the Salt Flats in Utah and there were gigantic rings of fire all over the place and I was jumping through them. The more I jumped the more rings appeared. I didn’t want to keep jumping, but I was barefoot and the ground was really hot from the fire. So I kept jumping, the rings of fire kept coming, and nothing else happened in the dream.
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